Friday, January 28, 2011

NFL - Never a Fact Lost

Did you know that the circumference of the rim of a standard pint glass is just less than twice its height?

My husband didn't.

You see, he has this theory...

He believes that there is only so much room in his brain for knowledge, and since he is such an avid sports fan, he wants to ensure there is always plenty of room in his head for things of the sporting nature.

It is necessary to his being that he have a constant and ongoing stream of sports knowledge.  I'm pretty sure he thinks that he will lose one year off of his life if he isn't updated on the current status of Albert Pujols' contract.

Needless to say, he is a little reluctant to learn new things.  He firmly believes that with every new fact he hears, something old (and likely more valuable to him) is pushed out of his brain.

For example, if he learns that Charlie Sheen was taken to the hospital Thursday morning because of pain caused from a hernia, he might lose the knowledge that Michael Jordon, while dealing with a nasty bout of the flu, still carried the Bulls in a Finals game in 1997, scoring 38 points, with 7 rebounds, 5 assists, 3 steals and 1 block.

If he learns that my new O.P.I. nail polish (which he bought me for Christmas) is called Bogota Blackberry, he might forget that David Eckstein was the MVP of the 2006 World Series when the Cardinals beat the Detroit Tigers 4 games to 1. He already risked a lot just to learn the brand of my favorite nail polish!

If he had watched the State of the Union address on Monday night, he might have lost a vast array of knowledge, including, but not limited to every jersey & number ever worn by Hedo Turkoglu.

So what does he do?  He thanks God for his blackberry.  Every time he hears a fact he doesn't care to know, he tries his hardest to forget it and then goes and reads 12 new sports articles in the hopes that more of that knowledge will stick than anything else.  His efforts have doubled as of late, since he is without the daily influence of his dear Mike & Mike, Colin Cowherd or Tony & Michael on PTI. He could just watch reruns of Erin Andrews on Dancing with the Stars, but he says that doesn't count.

So don't expect him to know what happened at the Golden Globes, or what the headline is today on CNN.  It's not that he doesn't care, he just......well, he doesn't want to replace the important stuff. :-D

1 comment:

~Stephanie said...

WHEW. It's a good thing Mike has your wedding vows on file in his office. Wouldn't want Nathan wasting precious gray-space on anything insignificant like promising to love you forever. :)

I think he should just use his blackberry to make notes of all the things he hears but doesn't want to remember. That way he can just "look them up" anytime, but save brain space for SportsCenter headlines.