Friday, January 28, 2011

NFL - Never a Fact Lost

Did you know that the circumference of the rim of a standard pint glass is just less than twice its height?

My husband didn't.

You see, he has this theory...

He believes that there is only so much room in his brain for knowledge, and since he is such an avid sports fan, he wants to ensure there is always plenty of room in his head for things of the sporting nature.

It is necessary to his being that he have a constant and ongoing stream of sports knowledge.  I'm pretty sure he thinks that he will lose one year off of his life if he isn't updated on the current status of Albert Pujols' contract.

Needless to say, he is a little reluctant to learn new things.  He firmly believes that with every new fact he hears, something old (and likely more valuable to him) is pushed out of his brain.

For example, if he learns that Charlie Sheen was taken to the hospital Thursday morning because of pain caused from a hernia, he might lose the knowledge that Michael Jordon, while dealing with a nasty bout of the flu, still carried the Bulls in a Finals game in 1997, scoring 38 points, with 7 rebounds, 5 assists, 3 steals and 1 block.

If he learns that my new O.P.I. nail polish (which he bought me for Christmas) is called Bogota Blackberry, he might forget that David Eckstein was the MVP of the 2006 World Series when the Cardinals beat the Detroit Tigers 4 games to 1. He already risked a lot just to learn the brand of my favorite nail polish!

If he had watched the State of the Union address on Monday night, he might have lost a vast array of knowledge, including, but not limited to every jersey & number ever worn by Hedo Turkoglu.

So what does he do?  He thanks God for his blackberry.  Every time he hears a fact he doesn't care to know, he tries his hardest to forget it and then goes and reads 12 new sports articles in the hopes that more of that knowledge will stick than anything else.  His efforts have doubled as of late, since he is without the daily influence of his dear Mike & Mike, Colin Cowherd or Tony & Michael on PTI. He could just watch reruns of Erin Andrews on Dancing with the Stars, but he says that doesn't count.

So don't expect him to know what happened at the Golden Globes, or what the headline is today on CNN.  It's not that he doesn't care, he just......well, he doesn't want to replace the important stuff. :-D

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Real Food

I'm no expert in the kitchen. Everybody knows that.

Recently we've been eating a lot of frozen food; pre-done dinners and the like.  Let's face it, those $3 bags of pasta dinners are not only CHEAP, but they aren't half bad.

The half that is bad, however, is wearing down my tolerance for cheap food.  Since we don't have the money to go out to eat, I'm left with one remaining option: navigate the dark recesses of uncharted territories know as "the fridge" and "the pantry".

Sure, I've cooked before, but I hate it. I avoid it at all costs.  I'd rather clean the bathrooms or do something really brave like fold the laundry as soon as the dryer dings. But like I said, I'm sick of everything I'm eating vaguely resembling a palette of flavors like plastic, aluminum & cardboard.

So into the unknown depths of kitchen exploration I go.  I'm starting off simple and we'll see how long this really lasts.

Last night: Night 1 of my domestic endeavor resulted in a quite yummy batch of homemade chicken noodle soup...with plenty of leftovers for lunch the next day! Cha-ching!

Tonight: Sausage baked ziti.

Monday, January 24, 2011

The Poop Gown

I am a glutton for punishment.

You see, my daughter has this nightgown....it's the perfectly girly sleep attire: white with little pink rose buds.  It is adorable on her; by far my favorite piece of sleepwear. 

I'm not usually in favor of the "little pink rosebud" type of clothing, so here's where I figure my punishment comes in...

Every time she wears that nightgown, without fail, she poops through her diaper.

I am convinced that the gown is cursed. Every SINGLE time she's has on that nightgown, I end up scrubbing an orange stain out of the back of it.

The solution would have been to stop putting this nightgown on her. After all, she has plenty of pj's. But that's not what I did.  Oh no. I kept letting her wear it.

And even though it's technically a size too small now, I put it on her one last time today.

It's now in the washer with a full scoop of Oxy Clean.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Movie Madness

If you're reading this, consider yourself tagged.


1. Name a movie that you have seen more than 10 times.

Off the top of my head......

The Lion King
Love Actually
The Fugitive
Jurassic Park
Twister
Little Women
The Sound of Music
The Princess Bride
Sneakers
America’s Sweethearts
Chicago
Batman Begins
Cool Runnings
Die Hard
Ferris Bueller
Hook
Independence Day
Men in Black
Big Trouble


2. Name a movie that you’ve seen multiple times in the theater.

The Lion King
Pirates of the Caribbean
The Dark Knight
Alice in Wonderland


3. Name an actor/actress that would make you more inclined to see a movie.

Dustin Hoffman
Emma Thompson
Helena Bonham Carter
Gary Oldman
Johnny Depp
Will Smith
Maggie Smith
Robert Downey Jr.
Amanda Peet
Morgan Freeman
Tina Fey
Paul Bettany
Meryl Streep
Kevin Bacon
Zooey Deschanel
Denzel Washington
Jon Cusack
Emma Stone
Anne Hathaway
Leonardo DiCaprio (Post “Titanic”)


4. Name an actor/actress that would make you less likely to see a movie.

Rob Schneider
Matt Dillon
Ben Affleck
Kirsten Dunst
Woody Harrelson
Diane Lane
Kevin Costner
Toni Collette
Russell Crowe
Pierce Brosnan
Leonardo DiCaprio (Pre “Titanic”)

5. Name a movie that you can and do quote from.

Ocean’s 11 (“They say taupe is very soothing” & “We’re in Barney…Barney Rubble? TROUBLE!”)
Princess Bride (“Anybody wanna peanut?”)
Twister (“I gotta go Julia! WE GOT COWS!!!”)
Monty Python & the Holy Grail (“Your father smelt of pigs and your mother smelt of elderberries!” &“Help, help I’m being repressed...violence inherent in the system!!”)

6. Name a movie musical that you know all of the lyrics to all of the songs

Moulin Rouge
Newsies

7. Name a movie that you have been known to sing along with

Both of the aforementioned musicals; also Elf, The Sound of Music, most Disney productions, Harry Potter (I hum the soundtrack because I love it…I also hum anything that John Williams composed), & Love Actually. I also sing Christmas songs when Die Hard is on, and I frequently flip to the special features on Men in Black so I can watch Will Smith do the alien dance J

8. Name a movie that you would recommend everyone see.

Stranger Than Fiction or Martian Child


9. Name a movie that you own.

See answer #1

10. Name an actor that launched his/her entertainment career in another medium but who has surprised you with his/her acting chops.

Well, Will Smith really started in the music biz, so he’s got to take the award, but I have to give SOME props to Marky Mark.

11. Name a movie that you keep meaning to see but just haven’t yet gotten around to.

Gladiator. I know it’s great, I just really don’t like Russell Crowe!

12. Ever walked out of a movie?

Not that I can remember…I always seem to hope it will get better.

13. Name a movie that made you cry in the theater.

Seven Pounds

14. Popcorn?

With butter.

15. How often do you go to the movies (as opposed to renting them or watching them at home)?

We used to go every weekend, but that was before my husband worked at Family Video and could rent for free.

16. What’s the last movie you saw in the theater?

The Tourist. Big mistake.

17. What’s your favorite/preferred genre of movie?

Exciting.  I know that’s not a genre, but let’s face it, I don’t watch movies to be bored.  I like anything action, suspense, thrill related.

18. What’s the first movie you remember seeing in the theater?

The Lion King.  I’m sure I saw movies before that, but I was 8 when it came out and it stuck with me like honey on toast.

19. What movie do you wish you had never seen?

Year One, Burn After Reading, Hitcher, Identity, Superman Returns, Speed 2, Under the Tuscan Sun, Titanic, Nights in Rodanthe, White Chicks, Resident Evil, Four Christmases, Because I Said So, The Family Stone,  & any horror movie or terribly sappy/predictable chick flick that I’ve ever watched.

20. What is the weirdest movie you enjoyed?

Inglorious Bastards, Intolerable Cruelty, Sweeney Todd & The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.

21. What is the scariest movie you’ve seen?

What Lies Beneath. Freaked. Me. Out.  I am aware that nobody else thought this movie was scary, but I’m sticking to my guns. Freaking scariest movie ever.  Oh yeah…that, and White Noise. HO-LY COW.

22. What is the funniest movie you’ve seen?

Monty Python & the Holy Grail, Big Trouble, Talladega Nights, America’s Sweethearts, Austin Powers, Airplane, Young Frankenstein, A Fish Called Wanda, Planes, Trains & Automobiles, & History of the World Part I.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

The Baby Ginger

I have been witness to two births in my lifetime...both of those births were MY babies.

The latter of these two births was the delivery of my own child; a beautiful, natural home-birth that I would relive in a second if I had to.

The first of these births was quite different...well, for me at least.  I was 6 and it was bedtime.  My mom had been having contractions for a while, and I was fully aware of what was happening.  As a childbirth guru, my mom had given me"the talk" when she got pregnant with my brother.  Her philosophy was "if she's old enough to ask intelligible questions, she'll get intelligible answers".  I went to bed that night somewhat reluctantly, but was promised by my nana that as soon as things progressed, she would wake me up.

I think it was important to my mom that I was there.  She wanted me to see how childbirth is a beautiful thing, not terrifying and highly medical like our current world tells us it should be.  But I think she must have known how important those first few moments as a family would be; how important they would be to me for the rest of my life.

Being her second child, the delivery was apparently much easier than the first.  Nana came and got me, as promised, and I quickly made my way back to the bedroom.  For months now, I'd been anticipating this moment; anticipating the entry of my baby sister.  I was curious, excited, nervous and really, really ready to have a dress-up buddy.

I sat there in mom's bedroom floor (coaching her the entire time: "OH I can see its head! Wait, now I can't...mommy push harder! The baby is disappearing!"), waiting anxiously to hold this little ball of goo.  A few minutes later, out HE popped...red hair, boy parts and all. After all the essential checks, they handed me the baby and said very apologetically, "Kacey, we're sorry you got a stinky little boy". Immediately and very defensively I replied, "DON'T YOU TALK ABOUT MY BABY LIKE THAT!!!"

And it has been that way ever since.  Oh sure, I still made him play dress-up with me, but I wouldn't trade a single moment I've shared with MY baby brother.  He's a blessing, to me and to everyone he meets.  He's been a playmate, a confidant, and a friend.

 Today that baby turns 18. Good grief I'm old.

Kev, I love you and I'm terribly proud of who you are, who you are choosing to be, and the man that you are becoming.  Happy birthday!

Friday, January 14, 2011

The Great Teether Debacle

My daughter has a teething ring...














And my husband has OCD: Obsessive Color Disorder.

You see, before we had kids, Nathan used to think it would be funny to teach our "someday" children mixed up colors.  He thought we'd tell them that purple is green and that red is blue, that the ocean is pink and trees are yellow.  He's mean.  He apparently wanted our kids to flunk kindergarten.

More recently, however, he's caught the "first-time parent" syndrome and wants to teach our baby everything he possibly can. So he's taken to teaching her not only the right colors, but colors within the color.  This week's specific colors, inspired by her teething ring, are orange and tangerine.

To me, the "two oranges" on her teether look identical.  To the well-trained, finely-honed, color-distinguishing daddy eye, they are very specific shades of orange., which he finds everywhere.  Whenever I come down the stairs, if there is a hint of orange in my clothes, he says "look Mayah, mommy is wearing tangerine"!  It reminds me faintly of Julia's "blush and bashful", only the proprietor of the colors can tell the difference...

...but maybe he'll get to the distinguishing hues of pink next week.




P.S. Thanks to my cyber-crafty mother, I have a new look on my blog!  Header courtesy of WhoMeArtsy? :-D

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Text Messages Rule & Phone Calls Drool

I am writing this blog in response to my brother's dear friend, Micah.  Her most recent post is dedicated to the irony of how much she texts, even though she despises the art of the text message.

I am here to refute her arguments with my own facts on why text messages are awesome:

- I'm good at it. I have super-human, Steve Oedekerk like strength in my thumbs and therefore am capable of text messaging at a much faster rate than I could call someone, wait for the phone to ring, have them not answer, leave a message, call them back an hour later because they haven't called me back, wait for the phone to ring again, then finally have a conversation with them.  All this for one simple question?  I think not.
 
- I hate pointless conversations.  If someone text messages me a pointless text like "what's up?", or "hey", I can choose to respond or to not respond...but I don't have to endure the obligatory pleasantries of every phone conversation.  Via text message, you do not have to be so polite...it's socially acceptable to just ask a question or make a comment!  Be pleasant if you like, fine, but don't call me, pretend to have a nice "how do you do" conversation, and then "remember" that you have to ask me a question. Drives. Me. Nuts.

- But the real beauty of the text message lies in the fact that I can respond while doing other things! Texting only takes one hand, which I've learned is an essential skill as a mother.

Examples of frequent texts sent from my phone:

I can text Nathan while he's at the store and say "DIAPERS!", while I'm using my other hand to change the last one, and he immediately knows what to do!

I can text mom: "They say taupe is very soothing", and she immediately knows to flip to FX because Ocean's 11 is on.

I can text Lindsay: "You're not dying, you just haven't found anything good to do", and she flips to AMC because she knows Ferris Bueller is on.

I can text my brother a ":-P" face, just because I don't see him everyday and he NEEDS to have somebody put him in his place.

I can text Elizabeth and say "Nathan is working", and she immediately knows to come over and have a girl's movie night with me :)  I buy pizza and she makes brownies...it's a wonderful combination.

Best of all, my husband and I play "slug bug" via text message, AND he still flirts with me through text....I love it.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Entitled

I was at Meijer the other night, getting some pasta salad from the deli, when a woman walked up behind me and asked for a rotisserie chicken.  The man behind the counter very politely replied, "I'm sorry ma'am, our rotisserie is broken and we're waiting for a part to come in so we can fix it".

Immediately, the woman replied (in a voice loud enough that the whole deli heard her), "HONESTLY?!  WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO FOR DINNER NOW?!?!?!"

I walked away shaking my head and feeling very sorry for that woman.  Does she think that she is owed a chicken?  Is she completely incapable of walking through the store FILLED with food and finding something else to eat? What gives her the right to yell at the deli boy, and then walk away trying to get my attention so she could complain further?

Now, I'm about as spoiled as they come.  I have my own car, a closet FULL of clothes, two ipods (well, until they both broke last month), a tv and a cabinet full of movies, a house, a bed, a kitchen full of food, lots of friends and a lovely and wonderful family.  But over the few years of my life, I have realized that I am entitled to NONE of this, no matter how hard I work for any of it.  It's not mine, it doesn't belong to me, and I certainly don't deserve it, no matter how badly I want a chicken.

My reasoning?

God is only letting me use all of this stuff.  He didn't have to put me in the family I ended up in, and He definitely didn't have to give me everything I've ever wanted.  I shouldn't forget that I'm richer than 97% of the world.  For instance, it's really, really hard to feel like I deserve anything when I have friends who going without many extraneous things, and some things I would probably still consider essential, in order to adopt children from impoverished, disease ridden countries.  It's hard to feel like I'm not blessed beyond measure when I know of at least 5 recent instances where families have lost their newborn babies.  it's terribly difficult to not feel blessed when I have a husband who quit his job to spend more time with his family and God has still given us the money we've needed to pay all our bills and then some.

So God, if I ever freak out because I don't get my rotisserie chicken, I apologize.  I may be spoiled, but I'm working on appreciating it :)

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

She Did It!!!

She's faked us out a couple of times, and had a couple of accidental rolls, but yesterday, she made it official. I'm a very proud mommy.

Pardon her grunts...that's just her "focus" noise.

video

Sunday, January 09, 2011

State of Confusion

First,

Who is All State's Stan? I keep wondering who this mysterious person is and why he is so important in the insurance business, but I have yet to decipher the answer.

Second,

Why is it that McDonald's occasionally throws in a nugget that is shaped like the state of Florida?


Maybe that's their way of giving us a small piece of the retirement that we will never make it too, because inevitably, we will die young from ingesting too many deep friend ground chicken parts.

Third,

I collect "Huggies Points". When I get enough saved, I will go online, enter the codes, and then spend my points in the Huggies Store. There are always cash drawings or sweepstakes to enter, and sometimes I will try my luck at those, but usually I put the majority of my points toward their donation drive for Every Little Bottom. For every two points, they will donate one diaper to a family in need. Cool, right? So this last time I got on, i went to donate my points and the Huggies site said to me "We're sorry, but we are not accepting donations at this time because we reached our donation goal for the year".

Wait, WHAT?

You are NOT accepting donations for more diapers because people have been so generous that you no longer feel it is necessary to help the poor????

I have no answer for this one. I am still confused. Be confused with me, won't you?

Thursday, January 06, 2011

I Could Blog....

I have lots of topics to blog about, but no time to blog them.

I could blog about how Mayah rolled over the other day...but I'm pretty sure that was an accident, seeing as it hasn't happened again.

I could blog about what a wonderful Christmas we had, and about the awesome presents Mayah got from her grandparents...of which her favorites are currently the giraffe and the gloworm. But baby toys are not exactly a fascinating topic.

I could blog about how work is picking up for Nathan and he was scheduled for 27 hours this week!! But that's really all there is to say about that.

I could blog about how I feel constantly dehydrated because Mayah eats SO much, and that she now weighs in at over 15 pounds! I apparently weighed 18 pounds on my 1st birthday, but Nathan weighed 32. Yipee.

I could blog about the fact that we have a new niece & cousin!! Lesli and Ryan had their baby girl earlier this afternoon! Alana Ryan Hughes, 20", 8lbs 1oz. Momma and baby are both doing wonderfully! But I'll leave that whole story up to Lesli.

I could blog about the fact that it's snowing. Again. Meaning, it's snowing again, not that I've previously blogged about the fact that it's snowing...although, I may have. But I really don't remember.

I could blog about the fact that I'm re-reading all the Harry Potter books, because I want a refresher before the final movie comes out. I started two weeks ago and I'm halfway through the third book already, but I'm guessing you really don't care about my juvenile literary choices.

I could blog about when we were traveling home for Christmas and I was pumping a bottle for Mayah and I missed the bottle and shot Nathan in the eye while he was driving...but he might hate me for blogging about that.

I could blog about how we still haven't finished unpacking our Christmas suitcases, but that would be embarrassing.

I could blog about the dark chocolate truffles my brother got me, and the fact that there are only two left in the box.....but then I would feel sorry for myself and start craving more chocolate.

I could blog about how Maggie tried to jump on the couch earlier, missed, and landed flat on her face. But again, not much of a story there...just a funny mental picture.

I could blog about how I want to get rid of everything we own and start over with a toothpick, a pocketknife, and a q-tip, but Harrison Ford and my momma already beat me to that.

I could blog about my lil' bro starting a new blog of his own! But why would I blog about that when you can just go read it??? (And you should, it's quite good.)

I could blog about the fact that we've been put in charge of the Winterfest trip this year and that it's stressing me out, but I really don't want to think about that.

I could also blog about the severe crick I've had in my neck since I woke up this morning, but when I tilt my head upwards in my "thinking" position in order to extract the words from my brain, it hurts.

I could blog about all these things, but I won't.