Thursday, December 03, 2009

The Indecisive Twins

In the spirit of the holidays, my brother is spending the week with us in our new house. My husband has REEEEEEAAAALLY enjoyed having a video game buddy.

Today, Nathan got off work a little early, so they have spent the entire evening (minus a half hour for The Office) enjoying their HD video games on our new 46inch LCD screen.

The following should be a script for the next Kevin Smith film:

Kevin: What game should we play?
Nathan: I don't care man.
Kevin: Well we've got the ones I brought, but we can play one of your's because they'll probably work better on your system.
Nathan: Dude, just pick one.
Kevin: Well, we could play soccer, or Call of Duty, or Medal of Honor, or we could play football.
Nathan: Let's play one of the war games.
Kevin: Which one?
Nathan: Dude, I don't care. Just pick one.

Kacey: (mildly agitated) Seriously "dude", just pick one.

(five minutes later)

Kevin: I really don't care though.
Nathan: Kevin, really I get to play these all the time, so pick whichever one you want.
Kevin: Fine, let's play Medal of Honor.

(after several minutes of game intro and flashy HD coolness...)

Kevin: Oh man, my guy isn't saved on your machine.
Nathan: Well, just make a default one.
Kevin: (said as if it were the end of oxygen as we know it) BUUUU...Oh okay.

(commence game play...)

Nathan: Are we one the same team?
Kevin: No...that's why I'm shooting you.
Nathan: Oh, right. Billy always shoots me, even when we're on the same team, so I just thought I'd check.
Kevin: DIE PUNK REBEL!!!!!
Nathan: WHERE IN THE HECK DID YOU GO????
Kevin: (evil laugh) muwahahahahahahaha you'll never find me!!!!
Nathan: Um...I just killed you.
Kevin: Shoot.

(next round)

Nathan: Okay, we ARE on the same team this time, so DON'T shoot me.
Kevin: But that takes all the fun out of the game!
(Kevin then shoots Nathan in the back)
Nathan: DUDE!!!!!!
Kevin: muwahahahahahahahahaha

(next round)

Kacey: Nathan, why is your name "Saucy"
Kevin: Because he IS Saucy!
Nathan: IT WAS THE DEFAULT NAME!
Kacey: Uhuh...sure.

(next round)

Kacey: Are you guys on the same team again?
Nathan: I think so, but I can't tell because Kevin keeps shooting me in the back.
(Kevin emits an evil laugh)

(game over)

Kevin: NEW GAME!!!!
Nathan: What should we play?
Kacey: Oh seriously...don't do this again.
Kevin: Do what?
Kacey: Ugh.
Nathan: Go upstairs and look in the closet. There are three more boxes of games in there!
Kacey: That will take ALL day! Just FREAKING PICK A GAME!!
(Kevin goes upstairs. A few minutes later, he comes down with a LARGE stack of games and tells Nathan to pick. Are you sensing a trend? My boys are the most indecisive people in the world.)
Kevin: Nathan, pick from these.
Nathan: Dude, I don't care.
Kacey: JUST PICK!!!
Kevin: Fine, we'll play football.
Kacey: Praise the Lord, they've made a decision.

(new game)

Kevin: Dude, you're gonna dominate me.
Nathan: Yeah, probably.
Kevin: FUMBLE???? WHAT THE HECK, I DIDN'T FUMBLE!
Nathan: Sorry, my controller won't let me replay.
Kevin: Well if the score is one point off, we'll call it a tie.
Nathan: Fine. WHAT JUST HAPPENED????????
Kevin: I don't know.
Nathan: We need to replay.
Kevin: I thought your controller wouldn't let you replay.
Nathan: Shoot.
Kevin: muwahahahahahahahahahaha so much for your world domination!!
Nathan: Yeah well...
(Kacey snickers to herself in the background and tries to aggravate Kevin so he'll miss a play)
Kevin: KACEY QUIT IT!
Nathan: (evil laugh) muwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!
Kevin: DIE PUNK REBEL!!!!

(game over)

Kacey: Are we gonna watch TV now?
Kevin: I wanna play another shooting game!
(Nathan makes cute puppy dog face...Kacey goes back to her computer.)
Kevin: Which one do you wanna play dude?
Kacey: NO. NOT AGAIN. PICK NOW OR GO TO BED.
Nathan: Dude, Let's play the same one we were playing earlier. It was fun.
Kevin: Okay. Sounds cool dude.

(new game)

Nathan: I JUST BLEW UP A BUS!
Kevin: DUDE! YOU CAN DO THAT?
Nathan: (terribly evil laugh) yeaaaaaaahhhhhahahahahahahhahahahahahaha

(new round)

Kevin: How do you switch your gun?
Nathan: Press the green button.
Kevin: I tried that.
Nathan: Well press it again.
Kevin: DUDE. I DID.
Nathan: Dude. It's the green button.
Kevin: (pushes the button again, but this time actually looks at the controller) Oh. I was pushing the red button.

(new round)

Kevin: I like being a sniper.
Nathan: Yeah me too. WHAT THE?!?!?!?!?!
Kevin: Oops.
Nathan: You sniped ME.
Kevin: Yeah, hence the "oops".

(new round)

Kevin: (singing) "I got a feelin', tonight's gonna be a bad bad ni-i-ight. I got a feelin', I'm gonna get shot a lot toni-i-ight. OOOOO OOOOO."

(new round)


Nathan: Why was I doing that???
Kevin: Doing what?
Nathan: Don't ask.
Kevin: Don't ask what??
Nathan: What I was doing!
Kevin: Ugh.
(Kacey laughs hysterically.)

(new round)


Nathan: Where is that guy?
Kevin: He's coming right at you!
Nathan: I don't see him!
Kevin: Well look at my screen!
Nathan: That's CHEATING!
Kevin: It's NOT CHEATING WHEN WE'RE ON THE SAME TEAM!!!!
Nathan: Oh, good point.
Kevin: (sees the enemy shooter) DIE PUNK REBEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maggie: (rolling over with a sleepy look on her face) Ugh. Mommy please tell them to hush.


Needless to say...they are still playing. If I hear the word "dude" one more time, I'm gonna start pulling out their nose hairs.

3 comments:

~ Stephanie said...

hence the "oops"

I'm crying from laughing so hard.

boys are so weird.

MichaelPolutta said...

Hilarious. And yet, a sterling example of why I'm thankful that I have no desire to play video games. We do have a Wii (it was a gift to us), but that's it. And those games (Wii Sports) hardly compare.

The only thing wrong with the whole recounting was when Kacey said, "Dude." It just never sounds right when a female voice uses that word. That is a guy-only word if ever there was one. And I know you had it in quotes when you said it. Still doesn't sound right.

ReidLanza said...

任何事都是由一個決心,一顆種子開始。..................................................