Thursday, December 03, 2009

The Indecisive Twins

In the spirit of the holidays, my brother is spending the week with us in our new house. My husband has REEEEEEAAAALLY enjoyed having a video game buddy.

Today, Nathan got off work a little early, so they have spent the entire evening (minus a half hour for The Office) enjoying their HD video games on our new 46inch LCD screen.

The following should be a script for the next Kevin Smith film:

Kevin: What game should we play?
Nathan: I don't care man.
Kevin: Well we've got the ones I brought, but we can play one of your's because they'll probably work better on your system.
Nathan: Dude, just pick one.
Kevin: Well, we could play soccer, or Call of Duty, or Medal of Honor, or we could play football.
Nathan: Let's play one of the war games.
Kevin: Which one?
Nathan: Dude, I don't care. Just pick one.

Kacey: (mildly agitated) Seriously "dude", just pick one.

(five minutes later)

Kevin: I really don't care though.
Nathan: Kevin, really I get to play these all the time, so pick whichever one you want.
Kevin: Fine, let's play Medal of Honor.

(after several minutes of game intro and flashy HD coolness...)

Kevin: Oh man, my guy isn't saved on your machine.
Nathan: Well, just make a default one.
Kevin: (said as if it were the end of oxygen as we know it) BUUUU...Oh okay.

(commence game play...)

Nathan: Are we one the same team?
Kevin: No...that's why I'm shooting you.
Nathan: Oh, right. Billy always shoots me, even when we're on the same team, so I just thought I'd check.
Kevin: DIE PUNK REBEL!!!!!
Nathan: WHERE IN THE HECK DID YOU GO????
Kevin: (evil laugh) muwahahahahahahaha you'll never find me!!!!
Nathan: Um...I just killed you.
Kevin: Shoot.

(next round)

Nathan: Okay, we ARE on the same team this time, so DON'T shoot me.
Kevin: But that takes all the fun out of the game!
(Kevin then shoots Nathan in the back)
Nathan: DUDE!!!!!!
Kevin: muwahahahahahahahahaha

(next round)

Kacey: Nathan, why is your name "Saucy"
Kevin: Because he IS Saucy!
Nathan: IT WAS THE DEFAULT NAME!
Kacey: Uhuh...sure.

(next round)

Kacey: Are you guys on the same team again?
Nathan: I think so, but I can't tell because Kevin keeps shooting me in the back.
(Kevin emits an evil laugh)

(game over)

Kevin: NEW GAME!!!!
Nathan: What should we play?
Kacey: Oh seriously...don't do this again.
Kevin: Do what?
Kacey: Ugh.
Nathan: Go upstairs and look in the closet. There are three more boxes of games in there!
Kacey: That will take ALL day! Just FREAKING PICK A GAME!!
(Kevin goes upstairs. A few minutes later, he comes down with a LARGE stack of games and tells Nathan to pick. Are you sensing a trend? My boys are the most indecisive people in the world.)
Kevin: Nathan, pick from these.
Nathan: Dude, I don't care.
Kacey: JUST PICK!!!
Kevin: Fine, we'll play football.
Kacey: Praise the Lord, they've made a decision.

(new game)

Kevin: Dude, you're gonna dominate me.
Nathan: Yeah, probably.
Kevin: FUMBLE???? WHAT THE HECK, I DIDN'T FUMBLE!
Nathan: Sorry, my controller won't let me replay.
Kevin: Well if the score is one point off, we'll call it a tie.
Nathan: Fine. WHAT JUST HAPPENED????????
Kevin: I don't know.
Nathan: We need to replay.
Kevin: I thought your controller wouldn't let you replay.
Nathan: Shoot.
Kevin: muwahahahahahahahahahaha so much for your world domination!!
Nathan: Yeah well...
(Kacey snickers to herself in the background and tries to aggravate Kevin so he'll miss a play)
Kevin: KACEY QUIT IT!
Nathan: (evil laugh) muwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!
Kevin: DIE PUNK REBEL!!!!

(game over)

Kacey: Are we gonna watch TV now?
Kevin: I wanna play another shooting game!
(Nathan makes cute puppy dog face...Kacey goes back to her computer.)
Kevin: Which one do you wanna play dude?
Kacey: NO. NOT AGAIN. PICK NOW OR GO TO BED.
Nathan: Dude, Let's play the same one we were playing earlier. It was fun.
Kevin: Okay. Sounds cool dude.

(new game)

Nathan: I JUST BLEW UP A BUS!
Kevin: DUDE! YOU CAN DO THAT?
Nathan: (terribly evil laugh) yeaaaaaaahhhhhahahahahahahhahahahahahaha

(new round)

Kevin: How do you switch your gun?
Nathan: Press the green button.
Kevin: I tried that.
Nathan: Well press it again.
Kevin: DUDE. I DID.
Nathan: Dude. It's the green button.
Kevin: (pushes the button again, but this time actually looks at the controller) Oh. I was pushing the red button.

(new round)

Kevin: I like being a sniper.
Nathan: Yeah me too. WHAT THE?!?!?!?!?!
Kevin: Oops.
Nathan: You sniped ME.
Kevin: Yeah, hence the "oops".

(new round)

Kevin: (singing) "I got a feelin', tonight's gonna be a bad bad ni-i-ight. I got a feelin', I'm gonna get shot a lot toni-i-ight. OOOOO OOOOO."

(new round)


Nathan: Why was I doing that???
Kevin: Doing what?
Nathan: Don't ask.
Kevin: Don't ask what??
Nathan: What I was doing!
Kevin: Ugh.
(Kacey laughs hysterically.)

(new round)


Nathan: Where is that guy?
Kevin: He's coming right at you!
Nathan: I don't see him!
Kevin: Well look at my screen!
Nathan: That's CHEATING!
Kevin: It's NOT CHEATING WHEN WE'RE ON THE SAME TEAM!!!!
Nathan: Oh, good point.
Kevin: (sees the enemy shooter) DIE PUNK REBEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maggie: (rolling over with a sleepy look on her face) Ugh. Mommy please tell them to hush.


Needless to say...they are still playing. If I hear the word "dude" one more time, I'm gonna start pulling out their nose hairs.