Friday, March 20, 2009

I Have A Dream...

I have nightmares. Always have.

I'm not talking like somebody breaking into my house and stealing my cd collection...I'm talking bloody, graphic, horrifying, gut-wrenching, terrible, awful nightmares. I won't go into detail about all of them...but just so you have somewhat of an idea...

After Kevin was born,(I was 6) I started dreaming that our house caught on fire. I never could save Kevin...no matter how hard I tried. I'd always wake up crying and go check to make sure he was okay.

As I got older, they've gotten worse. The least terrible are the ones where somebody drowns me, and Nathan has to shake me awake because I stop breathing. They only get worse...

It's gotten to the point that I started getting scared to sleep alone. Through college, I usually had roomates, or at least people in the same suite that I was in. If Nathan has to work nights now, I have trouble sleeping, mostly because I know it's going to be terrifying. People wonder why I hate scary movies...they only make the dreams worse. I know that they aren't real, but they seem so real sometimes that it's hard to not let them carry over into real life.

Now, I have generally always prayed before I go to sleep, but it's just never occurred to me before to pray FOR my sleep. I began to wonder if my sleep isn't the perfect outlet for Satan to get into my head. He knows that he can scare me, and that's an easy way for him to get to me, and for me to have nothing to say about it. So, for the past few nights I've been praying that God would protect my dreams, that He would keep Satan out of my head while I sleep, and that I would only dream about things I could wake up and laugh about.

So far, it's worked.

While some of them may have still been awkwardly morbid, they've been hilarious at the same time. I dreamed I saw Jordan Sparks, but when I got out of my car to meet her, it was a dude in a wig. I had to get gas, but the wig-man ripped the nozzle out of my car and showed me that I was paying $99.00 for gas. Then when I got back in my car...it was Jordan Sparks again.

I dreamed that Kevin and Nathan and I were trying to cross this big river thing. I was scared of the water so Nathan was helping me across. I realized I didn't know where Kevin had gone. We looked down and saw this red thing under the water, so we swam down and pulled him out. When we pulled him up, he was coughing up water. I said "why did you try to swim across this without help?" and he responded "KACEY, I'm not drowning! I'm only coughing because we were driving behind a diesel truck with the top down on our car. duh!"

I dreamed I went scuba diving and actually liked it.

I dreamed we had a spaghetti eating contest at church.

I'll take weird anyday over terrifying.

No, this does NOT mean I'm going to start watching scary movies. I don't want to push my luck.

2 comments:

~ Stephanie said...

Yea for God! That's kind of like me always praying for the headache I was having at the moment and never praying for God to take them away altogether. ("for God to take them away") When I finally did, He did!

It still strikes me as bizarre that you have scary dreams, but maybe it's hereditary as your dad has always had them as well.

*Lindsay*Jordan* said...

weird... but i love you! glad their not terrifying anymore.